Defining the situation
I have found that it is necessary for me to separate the situation from the person in order to forgive and move on with my life. If I constantly blame the “ex” for all that has gone on it blocks me from moving forward. Case in point…if it is always someone else’s fault, then the requirement for my sanity and quality of life becomes the resolution of their difficulties or problems. I looked at my ex and what he has become and I realize that I will stay sick and miserable if I wait for him to straighten up…wait!! I did! For several years I kept holding on to the hope that the emotional difficulties, the anger and his unhappiness would clear up and everything would be like it was ….well???…hmmm….was it ever all that great? What I have discovered is that I fell in love with the POTENTIAL of the man…not who he REALLY was. I lived with that hope for years. Problem with living on only hope is that it is NOT reality and it necessitates creating somewhat of an alternate universe in which to operate. Then nothing is real except the feelings that all this invokes. Whew!!
Today I see that there is freedom in acceptance of what is…right now…not deciding that things are going to go according to some plan I have formulated for the “perfect” union with another. There are a lot of tools that I have learned to use to do that and I will elaborate on some of those in the coming days.
November 18th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
[...] Canadian stripper Kimberlee Ouwroulis is taking age discrimination to a whole new level challenging societies view on what is sexy. The 44-year-old exotic dancer is suing the strip club where she danced at for firing her based on her age. Ouwroulis turned to the profession of exotic dancer at the age of 40 after divorcing. [...]
December 9th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
I try to remember that the present is all that is guaranteed; the past is over and the future isnt guaranteed… Its hard to only focus on the present and take one moment at a time, but its the only way to really live…