Divorced Life

Another celebrity breakup getting messy. Ann Heche’s divorce is making celebrity news again. Her January split from her husband Coley Laffoone is spilling over into a custody battle over their five year old son . Heche, and her co-host, James Tuffer got a little too cozy on the set of Men in Trees . Heche should of stayed with her past lover Ellen.

The Apprentice contestant Jennifer Murphy filed for divorce July 9 from her husband Bill Dorfman, extreme makeovers dentist claiming irreconcilable differences. Another one bites the dust.

Jackass star Johnny Knoxville, and Melonie Lynn Clapp end their 12 year marriage,  I wonder what kind of marriage that was; living with a real

Jackass!

Wayne Brady the star of Who Line is it Anyways, ends his seven year marriage to wife Mandie.

Statistics show that first marriages don’t have a chance; something to keep in mind, 50% of all marriages end in the divorce. 67%  of all second marriages end in divorce. Third and fourth marriages seem a little bleak!

I Love STATISTICS JUST AS  MUCH AS I LOVE having a huge pimple in the middle of my forehead!

I really hate telling people I’m divorced. It’s such a nasty word. Why can’t I just say I’m single, but then when they find out I have two kids they think I must of had them out of wedlock.  I better tell  them I’m divorced, or I might give them the wrong idea about me!

Women have children everyday without being married, but still society, and religion still question it’s morality. GIVE ME A BREAK.

Who am I kidding, I would never let anyone get the impression I was never married! Oh my God, I would be a disgrace!  I would be excommunicated from the Catholic Church!

 What am I talking about the Catholic Church frowns on divorce too. 

 The Catholic Church should re-examine their morality, and who they ordain to preach the Gospel. There is a shortage of priests, so why not get a few pedophiles. 

I think, they should clean their own front porch before they judge any of us!

No one should judge single mothers, They made a choice to keep their child instead of aborting them or give them up for an adoption. They made a courageous decision.

I do have a problem with women who diliberately get pregnant , or older women who should know better ; that’s what condoms are for.

 No matter how you look at it I’m doomed!

So I’m divorced. Why don’t you just put a big D on my head!

Get over it!!

Some of us never learn from our mistake’s, and when we do it’s too late!

Lately, I thought thing’s with me , and the ex was going to get better, boy was I wrong!

It seems no matter how hard I try to be a good person, and do the right thing , it gets thrown in my face like a big, pile of brick’s.

In the past it was MS. Redhead, she’s no longer in the picture; she dumped him in March for another poor soul. I’m sure she is in the shadows somewhere lurking–most snakes do.

Instead of my ex taking this time to be with his son’s, and work on building a new relationship with them, he is busy going to dinner parties, nightclubs, and dating anyone who will give him a second look.

What’s the hurry? I don’t know why men think they need to be in a relationship, that’s what their hand’s are for!  

 He needs to chill out, and not be a rebound fatality. Talk about setting a good example for his teenage kid’s.

He just met this rebound, and they went away this weekend!

 He makes me sick!!

 I just want to slap him silly, and tell him to wise up! He needs to go on Dr. Phil maybe he can knock some sense into him.

I would love to look my ex in the eye’s, and say, “What in the hell  is wrong with you.” This would be a perfect opportunity for you to spend more time with your son’s , to reconnect.

Another good thing he needs to keep in mind; family members will try, and fix you up; ever hear the phrase, “misery loves company.”

 He needs to pick his friend’s, like I tell his sons. “Pick your friend don’t let them pick you! ”

Some of us never learn from our mistake’s, and when we do learn it’s too late!

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You finally made the decision to join a gym. What a wonderful way to get in shape, and meet some single, buffed potentials, ok, at least single people who are breathing! Deciding on a gym can be very intimidating to a newbie. Just the fact you’re thinking about working out will get you a thumbs up from me! It’s the first step in controlling your life. Grab your sweats and water bottle, and get moving. What to look for when choosing a gym? Here are my top 10 things to look for when choosing a gym. 1. The cost is a major factor when selecting a gym. With gas prices as high as they are you want to find a gym that is reasonable. You may want to skip the high price gym and personal trainer.

2. Get a two week pass. Try the gym out, and see what they have to offer. You want a gym with a variety of equipment to cross train. Don’t go to a gym with only two treadmills and one elliptical.

3. Make sure there are spray bottles filled sanitizer, and paper towels to wipe down your sweat, and away’s spray the equipment before you put your bottom on anything! You would not believe the bacteria spores left behind on the equipment. Ugh so gross.

4. You don’t want to join a gym where there are power lifters screaming, and throwing the weights; unless your one doing the screaming!

5. Make sure there is a snack bar with chocolate latte’s to drink after your workout, only kidding just water, protein bars and protein drinks.

6. I like a gym with television’s and good music in the cardio room.

7. Check, and see if their staff trainer’s who are willing to make you a program with the cost of membership.

8. Pick a gym that doesn’t allow kids in the work out area. If you have small children find a gym with a daycare. I don’t want to work-out with kids because this is my time to work-out. Having kids there would irritate me. This is my time.

9. There has to be a locker room with private showers, unless you’re into voyeurism.

10. The most important thing to consider when choosing a gym is, the free-weight room. Make sure there are large selection of dumbbells.

The Lord is my strength, my shield from every danger. I trust in him with all my heart…I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.
Psalm 28:6-8

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Divorce can be one of the most stressful times in ones’ life second to death. Your body responds to a divorce in the same way. Your self-esteem is at an all-time low. You don’t care about things you used to love.  You may eat too much, or not at all. That’s why it’s so important not to fall victim to self-pity.

When my ex told me he was not coming back, I wanted to die. I kept imagining him, and Ms.Redhead together. The more I thought about them together the more I ate.

What I should of did was sing Gloria Gaynors, “I will survive” from the roof top .

I have learned over the years that looking good is the best revenge, and you should find comfort in your family, and friends instead of a bag of chips.

There is nothing wrong with staying in your PJ’s from time to time on a Saturday; however, never let your ex see you! This goes for you guys too.

Never leave the house without looking in the mirror first; fix your hair, and ladies put some lip stick on. You never know who you might meet in the produce aisle.

I don’t mean becoming obsessed with your looks. Take inventory on what you got. Concentrate on the positive.

Start a self-improvement program, join a gym. Just get moving. I found the best way to feel alive is lifting weights. I don’t mean become a bodybuilder. Five pound dumbbells are all you need. I listed some great links to get you moving.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Great-Exercises-To-Tone-and-Tighten-Your-Butt&id=48243 http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/SpecOps65/

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I was so excited receiving his letters; it made my boring divorced life exciting. One gift I still have is a Russian Nesting Doll. For some reason I can’t make myself pitch it in the garbage. Maybe I keep it to remind me never to be scammed again.

He wrote to me in one of his letters that his deployment was going to be extended. He broke the news to me he was being sent to Iraq, and would not be sent home as he hoped. He started calling me every week from Bosnia until he was flown to Iraq.

We would talk for about fifteen minutes each phone call, and I really believed everything he told me. Why would I not believe him? Then one day he called from what I thought was Iraq; he talked about how hot it was , and how he could not wait to meet me. This went on for months.

His screen name was Halo, which means high altitude low opening; a short way of saying he parachutes out of helicopters. In one phone call he said he was going to parachute down from a black hawk helicopter to my house. I know I should of thought that was a sure red flag, but of course I was too naive to believe I was being conned.

I did not hear anything from him for a few weeks, and then I get an email from what I thought was his commanding officer stating Sergeant Cockroach was shot three times and was  being flown to Landstuhl in Germany for treatment. I was told he was alive, but seriously wounded. I called directory assistants to get the number there , and I even spoke with an army offical ; however, he just told me his unit was there unfortunately I could not speak with anyone unless I was family.

Finally, I did get to talk to him, and he said he was being flown to Walter Reed, and then he would be debriefed and would come to see me.

It was June when he told me he was going fly into Pittsburgh, and come to visit me on July 4Th. I was so excited. I was finally going to meet him. I told my parents, family, all about him, and that he was coming to town. A real live hero! Coming to see me. I was ecstatic.

I had my hair and nails done; I even lost weight. I went shopping buying everything in red, white and blue.

July 4Th came and went, but no Shaun Cockroach. I was so bummed out. Talk about being stood up!! In front of my friends, and family not to boot my kids!

Every day I checked my emails-nothing. I checked my voice messages- nothing. Then, when I almost forgot about it. I get an email message from Mr. Cockroach apologizing that his unit was being held up, and they were in lock-down in Virginia.

I believed him again, and then something told me to send him an email, and ask him why he was being delayed. When I went to put the email address in the address bar instead of putting in @hot-mail, I put in @yahoo. I hit the send button, and about an hour later, I get an email from his WIFE!!!!

 WHY ARE YOU EMAILING MY HUSBAND SHAUN COCKROACH!!

That dirty S.O.B!!! was married!!!!!

I was devastated! What a lying, deceitful man wearing the United States Army Uniform. His wife emailed a few other times wanting me to call her. I never did; however, I did call his army base, and the FBI.

 Just another day in my divorce life!!

If anyone has ever had a similar con,email me ; I want to hear about it!!

http://www.adoptaplatoon.org/new/

What a wonderful July 4th. The weather held out, and my brother out did himself with a spectacular firework display.  I probably put on a good five pounds. There was so much food. My father made the most fantastic barbeque ribs I ever ate.  While I was cleaning up the debris left from the fireworks today; I enjoyed the beautiful tapestry of the sun, and clouds; an artist’s canvas of pink, and purple colors mixed with fog coming up over the horizon. It is going to be a cloudy day. I stood for a moment and reflected on another Fourth of July right after 911. I was corresponding to an army Special Forces sergeant; I’ll call him Shaun Cockroach who I met through Adopt a Platoon; a very reputable organization that does wonderful work for our boys in